Sharing The Load In Marriage

3 Reasons Husbands Should Do House Chores

This article is mainly addressed to my male audience. While in a few instances it can and does apply in the reverse, it has come to my attention more so in this direction. Wives feel free to share this with your husband if you feel it applies and will be a helpful word.

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It has come to my attention over the years, through numerous conversations with wives during our personal training sessions and through counseling sessions, that many women have husbands who help little or not at all when it comes to the day to day upkeep of the house.

Now, this can be a touchy subject and may upset a few gentlemen, but please let me make a case and present you with the information regarding a Christ like attitude and administration of help within the realm of your marriage.

 

1. Putting to flight…a.k.a. Getting it done

Deuteronomy 32:30 and Leviticus 26:8 lay out the prime example of working together to accomplish the task at hand. It goes something like this “one can put a thousand to flight, and two can put ten thousand to flight.”

My wife and I work together at cleaning and taking care of our home. I have no problem vacuuming, dusting, doing laundry (which is washing, drying, folding, and putting away) or dishes, as well as doing the “manly” chores of taking out the trash, mowing the grass, weed-eating, etc.

I will say my wife is a saint, because I have a hatred for cleaning bathrooms. I don’t know what it is, but thank God she takes care of it. This is another reason I don’t mind doing extra around the house.

Over the last nine and a half years we have learned to work together to accomplish the tasks at hand. Are there times when one of us does a little more than the other? Of course, but in the long run we work together. One of us may unload the dishwasher, and the other loads it.

When we see laundry needs to be done, we just do it. If you are in there and you see a load needs to be started, one of us will start one. We both dust; we both vacuum; and we both do whatever needs to be done to take care of our home.

In working together we accomplish the chores that need to be done that much faster. We enjoy helping each other. Then one person doesn’t feel the full burden of the house work. Then we are able to spend time together. Not one resting while the other works.

Gentlemen, listen to me closely on this next point. Regardless if your wife is a stay at home mother, and you work full time, you are CO-Laborers together in life, meaning you bear each others load. You labor together.

It is both of your house, making both of you responsible for taking care of it. They are both of your children, don’t lay the full burden of taking care of them on the wife. Be an active father in your children’s lives by helping them get ready for school, get dressed, do homework, go to play dates, etc. Work together in life and accomplish more together.

 

2. Do unto others 

In two verses Christ gives us great commands, the first is Luke 6:31 which is reiterated in Matthew 7:12,

Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. (Luke)

In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew)

The second is Matthew 22:36-40:

Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.

How would you feel if you were the spouse left to do all the house work? That is not treating your spouse like you would want to be treated is it? Stop only thinking of your neighbor as someone outside of your home. Your spouse is also your “neighbor.” Love her as yourself. You would not want to be left with the full burden of chores and child care, do not do so unto her.

If you pee on the seat or the floor when you go to the bathroom. Clean up after yourself. Do not leave your wife to do it. How would you feel if you had to clean up someone else’s urine? Is that doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, to leave your urine on the floor or seat? Respect your wife and clean up after yourself.

In everything you do in your marriage live by Christ’s indwelling Spirit, and do unto your wife, that which you would have her do unto you.

 

3. Love your wife as Christ loves the church 

Through Ephesians 5, Paul presents forth the understanding that a man should love his wife as Christ loves the church, even up to the point that He laid down his life for her. Husbands love and cherish your wives. Provide her the assistance she needs to take care of your home. Work together in your marriage. Love her as Christ loves the Ekklesia.

 

Gentlemen, the way you treat your wife, is a reflection of your relationship with Christ. Also, your children will take notice of the way you treat your spouse and apply it to their relationships as they grow.

Your sons will mistreat women in society, and your daughters will allow mistreatment in their relationships. (This may not happen in all circumstances, but subconsciously they will carry this relational understanding with them and can/may apply it to their relationships.)

Always be conscious of how you treat your spouse, especially in front of children. Help take care of the home and children, as if doing it unto the Lord.(Colossians 3:23)

Live by Christ, be rooted and grounded in love, and bring heaven’s reality into your home.

Should men do house chores? Let me know your thoughts below.

 

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2 thoughts on “Sharing The Load In Marriage

  1. Reading this caused me to tear up. I am so stressed and burned out. My husband and I have two children. 6 years and a baby under age 1. I am a recent stay home mom but when the roles were reversed, my husband was home and I would work and come home to cook and do the cleaning that he didn’t get done during the day while at home. Instead he was watching Netflix all day. Now I’m home and he works and although I’m grateful I feel like he can do more to help. Recently our dog started having accidents in the home which she never did because he has not taken her out. This leaves me to clean up poop! It’s difficult it for me to take the dog outside being that I can not leave my baby alone in the house. We’ve tried counseling, I’ve spoke. To him, and he says he’s going to try but does not. I have shared with my husband that his lack of help around the house is one of the reasons I do not want another child. I cannot handle a third baby when I feel like I left to do so much alone. What can I do? Please pray for me.

  2. Wow how I can relate to this. I always felt that it was my wifely duties to cook, clean and take of every single thing at home all by myself. In reality I’m so exhausted. I do work part-time to help out financially. When I ask my husband for help, he just doesn’t respond and thinks I’m nagging. We are currently living in a 1bedroom apt with 3 children in order to save for a home, but lately I’ve been feeling like I’m terrified of getting into a home with him if I’m going to be the only one taking care of the house. I just want some help here and there. Hopefully after my husband reads this article, it’ll help him understand me.