Powerful marriages don’t happen by accident. It is through the intentional pursuit of growth within a relationship that causes greater intimacy. An integral part of greater marriage growth comes through the three C’s: Communication, Clarity, and Connection.
Daily intimate conversation is essential to a greater marriage. Not just the regular day to day hi and bye, but rather intimate conversation that strengthens your relationship and helps you grow together rather than apart. By implementing these three C’s into your daily conversation I believe you will take your relationship to a new level.
Communication is the bedrock for any relationship.
When you make communication with your spouse a priority you put yourself in a place to build a thriving marriage. Because we are ever changing as individuals, communication in marriage is how spouse’s can become students of each other and grow together through the years.
When a couple fails to communicate clearly on a regular basis they lose the connection between them and grow apart as life changes through the years.
The following two C’s are an integral part of communication, but yet each part is self sufficient and necessary.
You can communicate with your spouse on a regular basis and never make connection. If you or your spouse are more in tune with a phone, computer, book, or tablet connection fails to take place.
The intent of communication is to draw you closer in your relationship, bringing about greater connection. When we fail to establish connection in communication, we lose intimacy with our spouse, therefore inhibiting relational growth.
Envision if you will a house with wifi. If you fail to connect to it, you cannot communicate to those on the internet. Your relationship is the same way. If you fail to connect to your spouse, you will not have effective communication.
Be intentional about establishing connection during communication by giving your spouse your full attention and making eye contact. The more you practice it the more it becomes ingrained as a habit.
Within communication and connection you find one of the most important attributes: clarity. Clarity removes doubt, frustration, and misunderstanding from communication and connection, while providing a greater level of each.
Clarity defines the wants, needs, and expectations couples have either of themselves, their spouse, or the relationship as a whole. Our wants, needs and expectations change all the time so revisit them on a regular basis.
Clarify everything from major subjects like, children, chores, sexual intimacy, career goals, and budgets; as well as the smaller topics like running a particular errand, stress levels from a day, how the toilet paper goes (maybe that one should go in the major subjects), and so on.
The more clarity you can lend to a situation the more frustration you will remove from it. I have previously discussed that minimizing the space between expectation and reality is the key to communication.
I truly believe the more we can master the discipline of clarity in marriage, as well as in business and friendships the more our relationships will be spared the hardship of unmet expectations.
Unmet expectations are at the forefront of strained relationships. Clarity helps to alleviate that strain.
If you want to have a greater marriage build a daily routine around these three C’s:
- Communicate regularly,
- Establish connection in every conversation,
- And, Clarify wants, needs, and expectations.