There are numerous leaders in the industry of equipping couples to build powerful, lasting, and healthy relationships. I have reached out to and gathered the number one tip from eleven industry leaders to equip you to strengthen your marriage today.
Below you will find tips from some people you may know and others you may not. I encourage you to stop by their websites and learn more about them and how they can help and encourage you on your journey towards building a great marriage.
Be intentional about nurturing your marriage. – Kiss often. Don’t miss opportunities to reconnect throughout the day. Make sexual intimacy a priority for both of you. Take turns planning dates the other would love. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Be patient with yourself and with your spouse. Laugh often. Let it go. Compliment your spouse often. Bring home flowers just because. Be the first to say, ‘I’m sorry.’ Plan at least one romantic getaway a year. Listen with your heart. Keep your voice down. Find ways to serve your spouse. Hold hands. Flirt. Give each other wings to fly. Love deeply.Aaron & April Jacob
of Nurturing Marriage
After the emotional high of the ‘in love’ experience has evaporated love must be intentional. However, don’t make the mistake of believing that what makes you feel loved will make your spouse feel loved. People have different love languages: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Discovering and speaking their primary love language will change the emotional climate of your marriage. It is the first step to a super successful marriage.Gary Chapman, Ph.D
Author of The Five Love Languages
Make a relationship with Jesus Christ the foundation, the Cornerstone, of your marriage. Everything you do should be set against this Cornerstone, and based on your relationship with Christ. How you communicate with one another, how you handle your money, how you serve one another, how you handle conflict in your marriage, how you raise and discipline your children — in all areas, learn how Christ would handle it, and do your best to be like Christ in your marriage.Jackie Bledsoe
Author of The 7 Rings Of Marriage
Through our marriage ministry, we’ve found that most marital problems begin with little or no meaningful communication. Instead of talking about our innermost feelings, thoughts, fears, and dreams, married couples tend to stick to surface conversations–like where to take the kids, what’s for dinner, and who needs to do certain chores. Instead of just having ‘shop talk,’ a husband and wife need to be vulnerable with one another. There should be total transparency and loving honesty between both partners. We do this by setting aside some time each day to have meaningful conversation, and we try to have a date night each week. This intentionality allows us to connect on a deeper level, and it helps us to cultivate a stronger marriage in the process.Ashley Willis
Founder of strongermarriages.org & fightformymarriage.com
Our number one tip for couples can be summed up in a single word: Empathy. So many positive things fall into place for a couple when they begin putting themselves in each other’s shoes – when they accurately see the world from each other’s perspective. It’s simple advice but it’s a challenging behavior. Most of us think we do this better than we actually do. But empathy takes work – you have to be very intentional about imagining what your partner’s experience is, what they are feeling and thinking. This means checking in with them to ensure you’re accurately understanding them. Otherwise you end up projecting your own feelings and thoughts onto them. By the way, research shows that when we have mutual empathy in marriage, 90 percent of our conflicts totally dissipate. It’s incredible. We wish we could give a box of empathy to every couple as a wedding gift. Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
#1 New York Times bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
Drs. Les and Leslie are speakers, doctors, and the best-selling authors of the book Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. They inspire couples through their passion for developing healthy relationships. You can find them on their website, or pick up a copy of their powerful and insightful book today.
Throw out the apology script from your childhood and find out what apology language your spouse really wants to hear. Ask your partner which of these 5 phrases most speaks to him or her. While you’re at it, talk about any of these phrases that get on your nerves. –
“I’m sorry for the hurt I’ve caused.”
“I was wrong.”
“What can I do to make things right?
Stating how you will change so you will not do it again.
“Will you please forgive me?”
The next time one of you drops the ball, you’ll be able to get things back on track more quickly.Dr. Jennifer Thomas
Jennifer Thomas is a bestselling author, TEDx speaker, leadership consultant, and psychologist who helps people know what to say in every situation. She is the co-author of When Sorry Isn’t Enough (previously published as The Five Languages of Apology) with Dr. Gary Chapman.
Focus on fostering their FRIENDSHIP – date nights, the 60 second blessing, dreaming together, going on adventures, keeping sex a priority, apologizing and forgiving.Casey & Meygan Caston
Casey and Meygan are the founders of Marriage 365, where they help couples develop relationships that thrive. You can find them on their website where they offer blog posts, ebooks, and monthly webcasts.
There are two questions we can ask within marriage that will take us to two entirely different dimensions—intimacy or estrangement. We have to choose which dimension we want to live in. We can ask: “How can I bless you?” Or: “How can I get my needs met?” If we live in the second dimension (“How can I get my needs met?”), every conflict will be resolved in terms of how we benefit from the outcome, even at our spouses’ expense. That’s thinking like an individual. If we live in the first dimension (“How can I bless you?”), every conflict will be resolved in terms of how our spouses are blessed in the process. That’s thinking like we’re one, and it leads to greater intimacy. This is spiritual and cognitive. I’ve got to pray to God that He will change my heart so that I truly desire to bless my spouse, even if I’m disappointed in her, frustrated with her, or angry with her. And cognitively, I have to choose to look at every moment of marriage as a way to purposefully bless my wife. Most marital disagreements result from living in the second dimension: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? … You covet but you cannot get what you want” (James 4:1–2). Instead of quarreling, I should ask myself, “What’s the best way to bless my spouse in this situation?” Every time you enter a conflict, every morning when you feel that selfish heart start to chirp, every evening when you look back over the day and start to feel resentment, attack it with the first dimension. Ask yourself, “How can I bless my spouse, right here, right now?” (From ‘A Lifelong Love: How to Have Lasting Intimacy, Friendship, and Purpose in Your Marriage’)Gary Thomas
Gary Thomas is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He is the author of Sacred Marriage and A Lifelong Love. You can find out more about Gary on his website.
The number one tip to help couples strengthen their marriage today is to be partners in everything. A husband and wife must function like two wings on the same bird. They must work together or the marriage will never get off the ground.Dave Willis
Bestselling author of 'The Seven Laws of Love' and founder of StrongerMarriages.org
One thing we always try to tell couples is, every husband and wife should have a ‘buck stops here’ attitude. Instead judging their spouse for what’s wrong in the marriage they should focus more attention on what they themselves can do to improve their relationship. They should come to a place of maturity in their lives where they stop playing the blame game and they both choose to deal with their own issues. Then by letting go of the toxic behavior of pointing the finger, they will give each other and their marriage the kind of grace that allows real growth.Jack & Janet Surrett
There are things folks can do to make their marriage stronger, most requiring husband and wife to work together. But what if it’s your desire to strengthen your marriage and your spouse isn’t on board yet? Here’s something you can do without the support of your spouse. It’s simple, just ask and honestly answer the question: What’s my goal? If your goal is to build or rebuild a strong marriage your response to any and every situation will be colored by that honest answer. What is your goal? Kendra Smiley
Kendra Smiley is an author and speaker whose goal is to help you make the next right choice. You can find out more about Kendra’s work and upcoming events on her website.
I hope these tips are words of encouragement for your marriage. I would urge you to choose at least one to start working on today to strengthen your marriage. Then work towards mastery of each of them. I encourage you to stop by each of their websites, and pick up a few of their books while your at it.
Don’t be idle in your pursuit of a powerful and lasting marriage. It doesn’t happen by accident.